I cried myself to sleep the other night. Over dresses.
Not just any dresses. Would you believe dresses from 2016-2017 that I haven’t worn in a few years. Dresses that no longer align with my current style or fashion. Dresses I’ve been keeping for sentimental reasons.
And today, I’m taking them to the op shop.
My spirit has been nudging me for a while now. That quiet internal knowing that says it’s time. Not in a gentle suggestion kind of way, but in a CALLING kind of way. The kind of call you can’t ignore anymore because your body already knows the truth before your mind catches up.
There’s a lot of energy trapped in these items, I’m now realising.
Memories. Moments. People who bought them for me who are no longer alive. Relationships that didn’t bloom the way I’d hoped. Younger me’s dreams that didn’t come true. The person that I was that I’ll never be again.
And by keeping these dresses in my wardrobe – unworn, unaligned, just there – I was holding onto all of that energy. Keeping it contained. Keeping it close.
Letting them go frees that energy.
Eating my own dog meat
In my role I’m frequently telling clients that if you haven’t worn it in a year or so, it’s probably time to let it go. I know the principles. I teach them. I believe in them.
But we all understand that knowing and doing are two entirely different things when it’s YOUR wardrobe. YOUR memories. YOUR grief.
Because that’s what this is, isn’t it? Grief.
Not the tidy kind of decluttering where you feel light and free and Marie Kondo-level grateful. The uncomfortable kind. The ugly-crying kind. The kind where difficult feelings come up and you have to face them instead of shoving them back into the wardrobe along with the dresses.
It’s not easy
I knew this was going to be hard. My body knew before I started. That’s why the tears came rather quickly. But I know the tears weren’t saying “don’t do this.” The tears were saying this matters. The past was important. That this is real loss. AND it’s necessary. My body wasn’t resisting the release. My body was GRIEVING the release. There’s a difference.
When you’ve held onto something for sentimental reasons, whether it’s a dress from 2017 or a version of yourself you’ve outgrown, letting go means acknowledging what it meant. Honoring what it held. And then consciously choosing to release it anyway. I knew what was on the other side – my new identity, my future.
It was not easy. It was not picture-perfect decluttering with neat donation bags and a satisfied smile. There was no way I could create a reel or video showcasing the raw pain.
It was really messy. Snotty.
They say you may feel relief or a sense of lightness. I didn’t. I felt raw. Vulnerable. Lonely. I cried myself to sleep because I was doing something that was sacred.
It was time
So I took them to the op shop. Carefully thanked them, folded them, placed them into fancy store bags. Notified the op shop attendant that they were there, and of quality.
I haven’t stopped caring about the memories. Sentimentality does matter to me. But I have freed the energy that’s been trapped there. I am making space for what’s current, what’s aligned, what’s really me now.
Because this subtle holding onto the past – even beautiful parts of it – kept me tethered to who I was instead of fully stepping into who I’m becoming. There’s only so many memories that can be retained as physical items, otherwise it becomes a form of hoarding. And because my spirit called for it. My body knew it was right. Even through the tears.
Let it go
If you’re facing your own version of this… the dresses you don’t wear, the items that hold memories, the things you “should” let go of but can’t quite release… just remember the difficulty is part of it. The tears are allowed. The grief is real. The discomfort straight after as well. Doing it anyway is the hard work and may require some courage to both release and BELIEVE that better is coming. So I’ve now created space for better to come.
My advice is… yes, it’s uncomfortable. It’s ugly sometimes. It matters. Let yourself feel it.
And then let it go.
