When personal style becomes soul medicine
Five years ago, I stood in front of my cluttered wardrobe and literally couldn’t fit my clothes in. I had just returned to Brisbane after working and living in Sydney. And about to launch myself into another intense job. I was exhausted, overextended, and – somehow – still unsure how I had accumulated so much stuff.
It wasn’t just clothing.
It was the weight of a past life. Projects I didn’t want to complete. People I no longer cared to impress. Versions of myself I had long outgrown. My wardrobe had become a symbol of everything that no longer fit, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too.
Thinking back, that moment marked the start of a radical and very deep shift, my clear-out. Not just of skirts and scarves. Not just of hobbies and amusements. But of entire beliefs, commitments, identities. Slowly but deliberately, I decluttered my home, my calendar, my inbox, my relationships, my behavioural patterns. I decluttered at least a thousand clothing/decor items, let go of decades-old friendships, donated materials/tools from three hobbies, sold furniture. Over time, I also walked away from a 20-year corporate career. And then, bit by bit, I started to rebuild.
The problem? The rebuild is slow. Slower than I expected. Slower than I wanted. And often, far lonelier than I imagined.
But of course in that slow unfurling, I’ve come to know myself more honestly than ever before.
Lulls aren’t lazy. They’re sacred
Some people call it a lull. A plateau. A waiting period. For me, it’s felt like standing in the middle of a renovation site with no clear end date. I’ve already knocked the old walls down. The dust has settled. But the new structure is still taking shape. The blueprints are in my mind, yes. But the materials are still arriving, and the energy to put it all together comes in waves.
I’ll be honest… I wish I bounced back faster. I wish I had the blind optimism of my teens, the learning strength of my twenties, and the energy of my early thirties. But instead, I have vision grounded in experience aka a bit of wisdom. I’ve walked through enough fire to know what I value. Like we all do, I had to learn plenty of lessons the hard way. And I’m not interested in rushing just to rebuild a version of life that once served me but now is gone.
This is my soul’s season of integration. And I’m learning (often unwillingly) to let it take the time it needs.
Returning to ballet at 50
In the middle of all this, something surprising happened.
I started ballet again.
It’s been over 30 years since I last stepped into a studio, but something in me stirred when I thought about it. In fact, I purchased a pair of ballet flats around the same time I started my major clear out. I hemmed and hawed through the intervening years and finally in reconnecting with a childhood friend a few weeks ago, she revealed she not only returned to ballet but actually got back into pointe work and successfully passed exams! Wow. That was both the confirmation that my fears were silly and the motivation I needed. It wasn’t just exercise. (Let’s be real, I’ve tried the gym. It bores me senseless.) This was something else. Something expressive. Something I had loved as a child. Something I had left behind when my life became far too overwhelming. To be fair, it was definitely the right decision at the time.
Putting on those leather flats again – yes, the ones properly fitted from the dance store – felt like reclaiming a part of myself I had silenced. Ballet isn’t easy. It’s an art asks for poise, discipline, quiet strength, consistency, persistence, lyricism, depth of feeling, It has always spoken to me. But it also asks for presence. And presence is what I’ve been craving most in this rebuilding season.
Beautiful movement, grace, music, expression have always lit my fire. I just forgot how much I needed them.
Style is my shortcut to tangible change
You know what else lights my fire? Personal style. Perhaps you can pick the characteristics that it shares with ballet?
When change can feel slow, intangible, or emotionally heavy, style delivers results I can actually see. It’s visual. Immediate. Physical. When I adjust a silhouette, or bring in the right colours for someone’s skin tone, or help a woman finally understand what flatters her body today (not ten years ago) something shifts in them. And in me. I love being a witness to the shedding of the old skin to reveal the underlying beauty, alignment and innocence.
There’s comfort in that tangibility.
But there’s also power in the ripple effect.
Because when you see yourself differently in the mirror, you start to show up differently in life. Trust me! I’m living proof that’s not cliché. It’s transformation you can feel and measure. And in a time when my own soul work is still ongoing, helping other women achieve those moments of clarity gives me a sense of meaning and direction I can count on.
Psychology behind the outfit
Style isn’t just about aesthetics for me. I approach it with psychology, strategy, and a little bit of soul.
That’s why, when I sit down with a client, I don’t just pull outfits. My most popular service, Colour Analysis, is a classic example of much deeper we go. We talk about their internal narratives. Tarot readings and wellness check-ins. What they’ve been told about themselves. What they believe is no longer possible. We look at what stories their clothes have been telling, especially which ones they’re ready to change. We use my Colour Psychology reference guide to communicate without words. I believe symbolism gives us language for what we’re feeling but can’t yet articulate properly. The process becomes a mirror of how they look, how they feel and where they want to go next.
And if I’m being honest, helping others through that process helps me move through my own.
Why rebuilding feels so hard (and what helps)
Rebuilding after transformation isn’t a Pinterest-worthy montage. It’s slow. It’s disorienting. There are days when I question whether I’ve done enough. Days when the path feels blurry and the setbacks sting harder than I expected. And then life throws more and bigger curve balls (seriously, what is WITH that?!)
But I also live by a deeply-held belief that has never changed throughout any transformation…
Clarity frequently comes through action.
Doing one small thing that is DIFFERENT to the usual (e.g., trying on a new outfit showing up to a dance class, tweaking a routine) is what creates momentum again. Sometimes, helping someone else move forward helps you take your next step.
In my experience, clarity is born not in the grand declarations, but in the quiet, consistent choices we make when nobody is watching. Consistently keeping promises to ourselves.
Here’s another moment of clarity I found through action. I had already created useful guides that anyone in the world can access if they want. Free resources like the Colour Personality quiz and Wide-Leg Pants guide. And then I had a bigger idea, creating my 15 Minute Wardrobe Reset. It’s something I’d been overthinking for months. I finally spent a few days getting started and created the Stye Personality quiz. Yes, there are plenty more resources that will be part of this (video, checklist, worksheet, tracker) but when I got started, I found the clarity of mind and energy to get back a sense of purpose again.
Stay tuned for launch of the 15 Minute Wardrobe Reset…
Where I’m headed
I still carry a strong vision of what this next phase of life and business could look like. I know the kind of impact I want to have. I know the calibre of client I want to serve. I know I want to lift the standard of my industry and create pathways for women to feel empowered, yes starting with one day, but ultimately for their lifetime. Yeah, I know, I have big dreams.
I may not be moving at the pace I once did. But I’m moving intentionally. Living according to my values and my preferences. Creating for and servicing people who value the power of image. And in this season of refinement, every decision carries weight. Every change matters. Every insight whether it’s personal or professional, feeds the bigger vision.
And if you’re also in a rebuilding season, let me leave you with this:
You don’t have to rush to prove your worth.
You have to keep showing up for yourself that is consistent, deliberate, and kind.
Because the woman you’re becoming must be worth the wait.
